Roxanna March 2002
My name is Roxanna
Trinka. I'm a business owner and live in Florida with my precious Husband. I
call him Husband. Bill is too common a name for an extraordinary man. When
I call out "Husband" in a crowd, there's no doubt who I'm looking for. We
have a beautiful, grown daughter, Chelsea. We as a family had breast
cancer. I was the body that it attached to.
You Can Thrive! is my gift to everyone,
learned so far:
You've got to 'drive your own bus.' Doctors are human and only know what
they know... just like us.
2. Build an army of family and friends and give them official ranks
like captain, drill sergeant, etc. don't forget to assign them
their job description, too of how you need them to support you.
3. Just say "I'll pass" on the invitation to the pity party. The
entertainment's lousy and the hangover is even worse - for everybody.
4. Stay busy, busy, busy! If you stay home, the side effects of
everything are multiplied.
5. Focus on the outcome. (Make sure you pick a good one!)
6. Live RIGHT NOW as if the outcome has already occurred.
7. Volunteer and contribute RIGHT NOW. If you can only do 5 minutes
or $5.00, do it! The more you do, the better you'll feel. The realization
will hit that 'it's not about me,' and God, that feels GREAT!
8. Surround yourself with people that are upbeat and enrolled in your
commitment to renewed good health. Eliminate or limit your contact with
gloom and doomers.
9. Know everything you can about the type of breast cancer you HAD
(key word), and become an expert on why you are going to never see it
recur. Period. Take responsibility like you never have. The internet is
flush with viable information.
10. Discuss everything with your doctor. If he's too busy to answer
your questions or has a lousy attitude, find another and another until YOU
feel confident he or she is the right one for you.
11. There is a connection between mind, body and spirit. Dis-ease is
what we create in ourselves when we neglect one of or all of the three.
12. Thank God every day for all the blessings you have. If you feel
you have none, open your eyes. Blessings are all around us. Embrace them
and give thanks!
13. This is not a dress rehearsal! We are living the final act RIGHT
NOW! God is not going to take us one minute before he is ready for us.
Live RIGHT NOW! Breast cancer does not define me or you. Wouldn't it be a
shame to not live fully only to realize in the end that breast cancer didn't
kill us? We can't stop living for fear of dying.
On my 2002 Heritage Springer Harley
Davidson 4 days after a Taxol treatment. Lake Okeechobee Ride
You Can Thrive!
is a source of information and inspiration using my journey as the
In April of 2000, I had a 'clear' mammogram. Three weeks later, I awoke
with a lump the size of a large pea in my right breast. The next day an
ultrasound confirmed 'irregular' (BAD WORD!) margins. I had no idea
that was a big red flag. Apparently my doctor didn't either(?!) He
said breast cancer doesn't just pop up like that (really?)... he also
thought I should just watch (?) it and see if it changes... BAD
ANSWERS. When asked what he would recommend if I were his wife or
mother, his response was that he'd tell them they were being
hysterical! Okay, I hear you... say it in unison with me... WRONG
DOCTOR! Got it, now lets move on.
Could've, should've and would've are worthless, powerless words. As
one motivational speaker once said, 'if you want to move forward into
your future using your rear view mirror, go ahead.' It's in the past
and I can't change that. The bottom line is that my ignorance about
breast cancer, along with my desire to never have it caused me to make a
wrong choice. I decided that if he wasn't concerned with the lump, I
wouldn't be either. (Example #1 of not 'driving my own bus') .
As the months passed I could have sworn it was getting smaller! One
year later I went for my mammogram and thank God it wasn't bigger but
the technician went berserk! She was dumbfounded I had lived with the
lump for an entire year. THAT my friends was my first wake up call.
Do not pass go, do not collect $200, this lump was coming OUT! We
weren't going to poke it, probe it or piss it off... I interviewed 3
surgeons to find the one who agreed to my terms: he would make one
incision and take a good clean margin all the way around the lump in one
procedure, no matter what it was. Sounds like it should've been no big
deal, right? Well, due to our litigative society, the AMA created a
certain protocol that is supposed to be followed by physicians with
regard to breast lumps. Removal with good margins is the LAST step
they're supposed to do. Imagine the lost revenue if women insisted in
lump removal without biopsy, scanning, ultrasounds and the like! It
didn't matter to me what it was. It did not belong in my body and I
wanted it out. You'd be amazed at how many doctors felt biopsy was the
best route because a lumpectomy would leave a scar! They've got to be
kidding! I told one doctor, "At 42 years old, I don't think I'll be
pursuing a career as a topless dancer." That's not to say I'm not
concerned about how I look. Plastic surgeons are everywhere in South
The day of the lumpectomy I was so afraid. I guess deep down, I knew
all along it was cancer. Just waiting in the outpatient surgery center
was unbearable. I paced like a wild animal and could not stop crying.
Come on I was only 42 years old!
That was June 2002. I became truly alive for the first time in my life,
finally alive and only 42! Thank God! Some people live 100 years and
never wake up.
Coming soon, "Hair is Really Over Rated - You Can Thrive While Having
You Can Thrive!